Women's Day, and Daddy

Daddy recently passed way. I was reflecting on him when Lily told me it was International Women's Day. Again! I had posted this two years ago for women's day, and for Daddy. Here's to you, Daddy! If there were ever a proponent of women and their importance, it was you. Thank you for playing an integral role in how I view myself, men, and women. We will miss you so much, but are so grateful you're well again. See you soon. XOXO

So much talk of women this month. And, I must say, that is a subject that greatly needs to be discussed. As long as women are treated, in any way, as a lesser being in any pocket of the world, then I think they need to be discussed. My focus on women is almost solely about my dad.

I am an only child. Born in 1977. I had an insane case of colic – therefore – only child. They weren’t doing that again… So, just me. I was my mom’s girl, and my dad’s boy. I was raised in a very conservative church, but I was also raised by “on the verge” hippies in a van with a sun painted on the side. Saturday Night Live every Saturday night. Church every Sunday. All of this helped shape me into the woman I am today.

Recently, I was privy to some information about some “boys” – heck, I’d almost call them infants – in a small town, flipping off International Women’s Day and saying things about keeping women in their place. It must be awful to just be a penis. And celebrate that. Congrats, assholes. Pardon my harshness. As you can tell, that infuriates me.

In thinking so much about these boys, I was left focusing on my dad. Sure, he has his flaws, as we all do. He could be a little too “helpful,” plan a bit, get a little moody from time to time. But, and here’s the kicker, he had SO much to do with who I am. My daddy never treated me like a lesser being. He never told me I couldn’t learn how to do this or that because I was a girl. He never told me I threw like a girl, ran like a girl, was a wimp, or stop that crying. He always listened to me and valued my opinion. He never treated me or my mom like we had a place we needed to inhabit. He never acted like he was the one we should obey.

I learned how to fix things. I learned how to back a trailer. Pull a camper. Castrate a calf. Work cows. Play 42 like a Click. But here’s what else he taught me: He taught me to be kind to waitresses. To treat nurses like rock stars. He taught me it was okay to cry. He taught me it was totally okay to be the silliest person on the planet. To laugh ridiculously at yourself. To be gentle. To be emotional. To be me.

I remember one time we had taken church service to a nursing home. Daddy was helping serve communion. There was a lady there that could not hold anything. Her hands shook so terribly. I watched as my dad gently put the bread, and then a little cup of grape juice to her lips. I knew he would. Had no doubt. And, I knew he would do it in a non-threatening way that would never make her feel like an invalid.

He used to work for a funeral home. He didn’t get to do it long before some health issues took him away. But, there was no one better than Daddy, this big, huge man, standing there in his handsome suit, waiting to help people. He would have this soft, calming presence. I could feel it all around him.

Daddy never had a “man card.” I never heard the term “man cave” until way later in life. Daddy would have never wanted that. He wanted to be with his girls. Chatting and even getting pedicures with us. He cried while watching Beauty and the Beast.

That’s what I grew up with. That was the man that took care of me. That, ladies, is the kind of man you need to look for. And, don’t settle for less. You need and deserve someone that will treat you like the treasure you are. You don’t have to feel lesser. You don’t have to fit into your place, play your roll. You can learn to do anything. And, you do NOT have to be with someone who treats you poorly.

So, I celebrate International Women’s Day by celebrating my Daddy. Thank you, Daddy, for making me see my value. For treating me like I mattered and that I was the most important person in your life. For believing in me. For listening to me. For making me into the woman I am today. I’m so thankful for you.

May you girls all go out and find someone like my Daddy. Don’t settle for anything less. You deserve it. I love y’all.