I looked up several definitions of the word, graduate/graduating.
The one that really stuck with me was – to pass by degrees; change gradually
Funny. We all seem to be graduating for our entire lives. So many changes. So many things to overcome. So many joys, so many struggles. We graduate, over and over. Change, over and over. When we try to stay the same, that is what hurts.
You graduates, of every part of life, be patient with yourself. Let yourself change, feel joy, feel sorrow, grow. Feel that pain. Learn from it.
So many people are graduating this month. I wanted to speak about one particular “graduate” I am pretty close with.
To get your diploma and demand no recognition.
To ask for nothing at this particular moment in her life, when I was all about the invitations and potential money...
To not have a sign on the side of the road.
To not have a senior ring on her finger.
To never expect a thank you for all the wonderful things she’s done.
Honestly, when I sit back and think about the young woman I have been blessed to be close with, I cannot help but be amazed.
She told me the other day, “You never write about me. You write about everyone else, but not me.” And, that’s true. It’s probably some form of overcompensation for all the rudeness I’ve heard in the past. For the rumors. For the hatred I’ve been lucky enough to receive. Well, this one’s for you, Lily. This is my “graduation gift” to you.
When I think about all the things she has done for me, I am brought to my knees with gratitude. When I think about all the “shade” she’s put up with for it, I am saddened. She doesn’t deserve any of that.
There truly isn’t a more remarkable young lady, but she’d argue with anyone who said that to her. She doesn’t think she’s special. She doesn’t think she’s much of anything, but she’s wrong.
I met this young lady when she was in the 8th grade. She’s been a blessing to me ever since. She listened to me. She laughed with me. We enjoyed each other so much, from the very beginning.
She has grown into and is still “graduating” into one of the best people I know. She has done so much for me. She drained my tubes for six long weeks. She’s helped me up and down. She’s come in in the middle of the night to make sure I was okay. She’s cried with me. She’s laughed with me. We have been through so much together.
I’m so blessed to have her in my life. And, to have her family in my life as well. We have all grown into a family together, and I’m so thankful.
Lily has seen the very worst parts of me. She has allowed me to be a total mess. To be a misunderstood jumble of debris. And, I feel safe being a mess with her.
To Lily,
I’m so very proud of you. You have worked so very hard, and are still working hard. You have already started your degree. And, I know it’s hard for you to not be in this graduation and walk the stage. I’m sorry you missed out on your senior year and part of your junior year. Covid and Cancer. Both have really sucked.
I absolutely hate unasked-for advice, and I know you know most of these already– but, if you will allow me:
Please always remember to stay true to yourself. You know exactly who you are. Don’t bend just because someone else wants you to.
Don’t do things you don’t want to do or that you will regret, just because of the moment. Keep your head on straight, all the time.
You deserve to be treated the best. Please don’t ever forget that or settle for less.
Don’t let anyone make you do anything you don’t want to do.
Don’t choose friends or lovers who don’t add to who you are and who you want to be. Each carefully-chosen person should add to you, not take away. They should all be people you are happy to share with others. And that love you the way you are and don’t change you one bit.
Remember, love should never be conditional. Anyone’s or yours.
Don’t ever let anyone talk down to you. Be kind, but also stand up for yourself.
Be real, at all times. It’s okay to be a mess. Don’t fake anything. We both know we hate that.
Remember, everyone else is a mess, too. Some may not be comfortable sharing that detail.
Let people talk to you about anything. Don’t flinch.
Be open and willing to help.
Push hard to achieve your goals – I know I don’t have to tell you that. You’re the hardest worker I know.
Remember God and Jesus in everything you do.
Be merciful. Be kind. Be gentle.
Have as many adventures as you can afford to have.
But, remember, not everyday has a huge adventure. Some days really suck. There is still something good in each day.
You don’t have to be ridiculously happy.
You can be sad, angry. You can be depressed. Just don’t camp out and stay there.
Be very aware of your money from the moment you start making it.
Also, be aware of your body. Do things to make you feel better about yourself, not worse.
Wear comfy clothes.
Have your own style. You be you.
Learn, for your whole life. Accept challenges. Think about things with an open mind, and be ready to be shown new things and new ways of doing things.
Admit it when you make a mistake. Have enough humility to say it, and then learn from it.
Weigh each choice you make.
Wait before you listen to those rumors. You weren’t actually there. You have no idea what really happened. Wait and be quiet.
Sometimes, the only answer is silence. It’s better to be quiet than be a foolish blabber. Silence can never be misquoted.
Everything isn’t everyone’s business. Don’t talk too much- people don’t really care to hear every single thought you’ve ever had.
There you go, Miss Lily. I am so incredibly proud of you. Congratulations on your “graduation” day. I am so privileged to be able to watch you graduate your whole life. I wish you the very best in every single stage.
Thank you so much for all you’ve done for me. I Love you.
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