Guidepost 6 – Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go of Comparison
I think these two things are enemies. They fight one another constantly. And, it can be quite the battle, to be honest.
The term “Keeping up with the Joneses” came about in 1913. Crazy to me, that anyone could be looking around and keeping up with anyone in 1913! But I think it’s a human trait that is hard to fight. We’ve gone from keeping up with the Joneses, to the Kardashians, to anyone else that seems to be living “that life.” To have “that car.” “That body.” That money.”
Comparing ourselves to others can be very detrimental. I’d be willing to bet that it’s something always out of reach. It’s one step away, all the time.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to improve. To want a car. To want to work on your body. Not a bit. But I think when it squashes our own self, that’s when it becomes a problem. When we become someone else, that’s an issue.
Creativity has never been something I’ve pushed to the side. It always has flowed through my veins alongside my blood. I am not sure I could ever truly make it go away. It is my lifeforce. I am my most alive when I’m creating something.
I was fortunate to never really have the “comparison” gene. I have had my moments, sure. I am not one of those people who stand out in a crowd, but on the inside, I’ve always had a world that runs constantly.
I think a lot of people spend their lives comparing themselves to others instead of being authentic. It does squash your creativity. What we end up with is clones. It’s boring. I’m constantly looking around at others and thinking at how alike they all are. Predictable. Sameness.
I’m real big on being authentic and fighting against the need to merge into the highway and become a clone. I used to tell my kids at school this little thing, and I drew this on the board every time:
Individuality is celebrated much more when one is very young. Creativity is, too. And then, little by little, we are spiraled into one stereotype. If we stay different for too long, we are not accepted. We could be bullied and ridiculed, ironically, by people who have conformed.
A lot of the time it affects our mindset, as well. Our creativity is squashed by the need to fit in. To not buck the system.
By the time our kids reach Jr. High, the expectations are immense. It further hardens as one enters high school. Even the nicest and most creative of people can feel a huge pressure to conform. To let go of all creativity and just be about sex.
Let me say – conformity is the easiest path. It is the path of least resistance. Especially for young people. Gotta play on the football team. Gotta love the boys and their strut. Gotta dress this way. React this way. Underage sex and drinking. Vaping. There’s a lot going on out there that has to do with straight up conformity. Trust me.
The different ones are courageous, and happen to be my very favorites. I think that is true of adults, as well.
From the moment we come out of the womb there are expectations, clothes, and toys thrust upon us that we must like and celebrate. I used to despise Happy Meals. When they saw I was a girl, I got the uncool toys. That chapped me, from the time I was little. I hated the pink aisle. I wanted to build and fight and have wars. Not play dress up. There’s nothing wrong with those things, but that just wasn’t me.
I think another thing that stops our creativity is the expectation of perfection. “Oh, I can’t draw.” Yes you can, you just have a Monet expectation of artwork. Dude. Draw. Paint. Fling stuff on your canvas. Let her rip. You don’t have to post it or hang it.
My heart crackles with anticipation when I see a blank canvas and paint.
I hope you can step out a bit. Let some creativity flow in your veins. Write a poem. Write a story. Paint a rock. Sing a song. Dance like a crazy person in your kitchen. Enjoy yourself today. You are enough, just the way you are.
Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing. "Cultivating Creativity and Letting Go of Comparison."
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